In reality, how can you put value on something? In a world that expects everyone to own shirts that cost hundreds of dollars you wouldn’t think that eighty dollar shoes would be worth anything to me. Surprisingly, they are the only thing that keeps me going. I live to put them on and wander out into the cold air of the rink.
I put my foot in the boot. I tap my boot against the ground with my foot inside. I pull my laces to get the extra out of the way. I do it again except this time I tighten it as tight as I can get it. I repeat this process with my other skate. Before stretching I throw on my coat. Rinks can get as low as forty three degrees so it can get cold. I turn on my mp3 player before I start to stretch. Now I stand against the wall of the rink and put my foot up on it. I hold it there for as long as possible. As soon as I finish, the zamboni finishes. I step out onto what is supposed to be “clean” ice. I don’t think they should schedule hockey right before a public session. I wish there was some other rink nearby that I could go to. This ice is practically not worth skating on it’s so crappy.
I begin to skate around the rink. These are my warm up laps. I feel the wind against my face. After a few minutes I begin to do actual stroking. Then I do my figure eight. Already I am working up a sweat so I take off my coat. Then I begin to do some real interesting moves. As I skate around the rink I feel the eyes of the other sixty people on the rink watch me. I am not the only serious skater on the rink but I am the only one wearing a skating dress. I squeeze past a group of college kids which make up most of the college kids on the rink. I do this so I can get to the open part of the rink to do a spiral. I finish this and two seconds later all the college kids are imitating me or a female fiqure skater. I find this annoying. If they aren’t imitating me they are “speed skating” or bending over with their arms behind their backs.
I do this routine only one a week unfortunately. I strive for two but it doesn’t happen. Without this coming to welcome the weekend I would have no reason to make it through the day.
My mp3 is very important to me as well. I have pictures of my family on it and songs my friends have sung. I don’t think I could survive without it. It is a maroonish color. It has a screen on the left side and a scroll button on the left with a play button in the middle. At the top right corner is a menu button. I have headphone that match. As well as about 3 other pairs.Without it I wouldn’t be able to take my music everywhere I go. Music inspires me. Music keeps me going through the day. I live to skate programs to music. I live to listen to certain songs. I live to dance to certain songs. Without this item I would not be able to enjoy my life. It is also a present from my parents. So that makes it special and close to my heart. I got it for Christmas and I hadn’t asked for one. It shows my parents care enough to keep up with the teen world.
Both my mp3 and my ice skating are very important to me. One has value to me through its rareness while the other is expensive. I couldn't live without either one. Just like some peoples dogs are valuable to them my skating and my mp3 are that valuable to me. Skating is something that is hard to do because you can’t do it in your backyard. You have to go to a rink and not just anyone can afford that. Skating also is just a seasonal sport which means during summer I go through 4 painful months of agony waiting for skating to start up again.
4 comments:
I think that Nina is saying that value is a word that can be taken different ways to different people. Some people value things for their costs and other's don’t. Nina values Ice Skating and her mp3 player both very much. I can tell that they both mean a lot to her by how she describes them in her essay. I value ice skating too and i agree with Nina, it is an incredible thing to do.
I think that Nina described her ice skating the best out of the two values she possesses. She describes it very well when she talks about it. I like how she described how she puts her skates on and every step she does before she goes out on the ice. She seems like she knows what she is doing. I also like how she describes how she feels when she is out on the ice. She did a great job using that.
The strength in this essay I would have to say is imagery. I would say this, because when she is describing how she is putting her skates on, I can actually picture her putting them on since she describes it so well. When she says that people are imitating her when she skates by and how it irritates her, i could really picture people doing what she is doing, and her getting a look of frustration on her face. I think by her making me see all these images are good. I like reading things that make me visualize what the author is saying and Nina did this in her essay, and I liked her essay very much.
The only advice that i can give you is to try to add on to your mp3 player. You don’t really describe a lot about your mp3 player and it makes me wonder what else it is value to you for. For example, you could tell me what color it is, what it looks like, what music you listen to when you warm up, what music you listen to when your realizing, etc... stuff like that. I think that would make your essay a little bit better then how it is now and I think that Mr. BG would like to hear more about your mp3 player more as well. Other then that, Beautiful essay Nina! =)
Nice job Nina (:
I think you did a good job in the intro with asking questions. Very smart, it engages a reader. I can tell you value both things and thats great.
I think you really enjoy ice skating more. You seem to describe it so much more vividly. Maybe it was easier for you? I'm not sure, but it was good. Every little detail that wouldnt normally matter in average life, matters in an essay. you hit the nail on the head there.
The description is definitely the strength in this essay. Being able to feel as if im watching you get ready to skate was really good. It made me feel like i was about to come right on the rink with you, and i was watching you as a waited to go on. Weird, I know, but goes to show how great you described.
my suggestions for improvments are; To include more on your MP3 player. It was just kinda a paragraph, and everything else was about your Skating. Also, just use more descriptive adjectives. Otherwise you're all set. Nice job (:
In this essay, Nina was showing that she values her skates and her MP3 player. I can tell (to me at least) that Nina seems to value her skates more than her MP3. I can tell this by the way she describes her skates with more feeling than she does with her MP3.
I think her introduction was great. I loved how she started to say one thing that she values in her intro without giving away what it is. I liked how she compared the price of a designer shirt or something that no one really NEEDS to the price of her skates, which are less and they mean everything to her.
Her strength was definitely describing her routine of skating. She said it with emotion and you can tell that she cares about skating.
Some advice that I would give Nina would be to add a comparison. It would make the essay much better. I also can't tell what is the "priceless moment", the skates or the MP3. Other than that everything was really clear and I knew what was going on.
Hey, Nina.
I think your items were very clear. Your ice skating and your mp3 player were described very well. I really liked this line "Music inspires me. Music keeps me going through the day." becuase I could relate to it.
I think that your ice skating was described better.
I would right a longer story for your mp3 player and make your conclusion more obvious.
Post a Comment